Starring Michael Fassbender, J.K Simmons, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Rebecca Ferguson, Val Kilmer

Something about me: A murder mystery has to be extremely bad for me not to enjoy, and so, full disclosure: I was entertained for much of this 8% on Rotten Tomatoes travesty. Michael Fassbender stars as Harry Hole, the lead detective from a series of novels by Jo Nesbo, this time out chasing a serial killer who stalks wanton women and leaves snowmen as his calling card. The tone is lifeless, Val Kilmer’s brief role is bizarre (his dialogue is dubbed over), the mystery reveal is contrived, as all mysteries are, but generally with more skill, and there is a whole segment of the film (a side-plot, I guess) that’s left completely unanswered. I believe the director when he says that a large chunk of the film’s script was unshot due to budget concerns and lack of time. The Snowman is, at times, skillfully made, but the lack of coherence makes the central gimmick come off as silly rather than scary. Overall, I’d say The Snowman is in need of a director’s cut that unfortunately will never come.

Starring Kenneth Branagh, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, Penelope Cruz, Johnny Depp, Daisy Ridley

A man, who turns out to be a violent and repulsive criminal, is found dead in his locked room aboard the Orient Express, a train travelling from Turkey to Europe. Unfortunately for the killer, Hercule Poirot is also on the train, and, in his own words, he is probably the greatest detective ever. It’s a classic whodunit scenario: everyone’s a suspect, lots of red herrings. As the second major adaptation of Agatha Christie’s novel, after Sidney Lumet’s star-studded take on the material, Branagh’s film follows much of the same formula: a cast full of A-listers with luxuriant art direction and beautiful visuals to bolster Christie’s incredibly clever murder mystery. This film succeeds on many of those same notes: it is truly a gorgeous film, the cast is well-matched to their roles, and the technical skill of the production team is plainly on display at every turn. The main issue here is that it is a whodunit in which I already know the solution (from reading the novel and seeing the previous film adaptation). Branagh does his best to alter the material just enough to feel fresh without being unfaithful to the material. He adds some depth to his understated take on Christie’s greatest detective. I liked his performance. He also adds two red herrings to the story, to some effect, but mainly this film feels too much like a cover band. It’s fine, but not completely necessary.